Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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