fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
