how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So many bounce houses so little time
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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