I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
