I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
