we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
