Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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