ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
