i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
