Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
