all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
