alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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