We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
