i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's rum buckets o'clock
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
