oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize