it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize