Moan for me like Helen Keller
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
