did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
