i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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