i think i have herpe
just one?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
