just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
