Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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