Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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