The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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