He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
