i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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