New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
