I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
