Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
