I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize