I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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