If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
