check it out our google latitudes are spooning
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
