gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
