I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
