Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
