im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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