I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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