This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
