no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
