I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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