Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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