do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it hurts more in the daytime
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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