I'm drive I can fine osifer
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
