Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
