i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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