i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
