We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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