I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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