Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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