You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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