hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize