he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
