He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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