Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
