Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
