I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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