Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
