Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In other news, I just burned my penis
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
