he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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