walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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