i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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