Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
