I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Randomize
