Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
